We often debate which of humankinds’ creations was the most significant. Was it controlled fire? Or was it the wheel? Agriculture? Maybe it was religion; which helps many through their very hardest times, or as its skeptics say, caused many a very hard time? Could it be money, which enabled trade as we now know it? Math and Science, or possibly something that came from them like the drain trap that safely provides indoor plumbing, and has enabled us to create the metropolis many correlate with the success of a state? Or the common comparative, sliced bread? If you’re not gluten intolerant of course. I think it was none of the above, and that we have overlooked the most obvious of them all. All the aforementioned are great creations, inventions, or discoveries, depending on where you sit with regard to our role in each, but none are possible without this one vital ingredient. Words.
To even begin to get to a point where we can entertain the idea of - what is our best creation – we needed words. Our ability to create and control fire (the optimal piece being control) may have occurred when we were merely grunting post-ape humanoids, putting us on the path to the modern world we now live in, but we needed language to fully optimize and harness its power. Without it, we likely would have burned ourselves out of existence before the magnitude of its discovery could have been fully harnessed. Who doesn’t have as story of either themselves or someone they know who nearly burnt down a building as child playing with fire? I nearly did. If not for my brother going to get something from his room on that fateful day, we would not have had rooms to go to that night. And you better believe I was punished for my careless actions. Not physically, as one may strike the hand of a child reaching to touch a hot stove top, but with words. I was scolded, chastised, lectured, cautioned, and admonished for my vacuous action. That day I learned a great lesson, one that corporal punishment would have failed to teach in its limited effectiveness. Aside from not burning down one’s home, the other lessons we learn from words are seemingly infinite. We use them to express emotions, effectively and healthily, where once again physical action is inept. We describe the world we see with them. Teach each other processes of all types with their power. And we tell stories, oh beautiful stories. Stories of hope, courage, caution, and warning, using this most powerful invention. But words also have a menacing side. They can be used to manipulate us to move in ways we would have never imaged or ever would want. And when we do this, we are then struck hard by the cruel reality that while words can be amazing, they can and often fail to make amends for the actions they have caused. Who hasn’t said something they could never take back, and been the worse for it? I have had many nights and days filled with regret for my choice of language, and tried with actions and patterns to undo the hurt caused. But I could never unsay any of those words spoken. And, as we can’t talk our way out of a situation that we behaved ourselves into, we cannot behave our way out of one we talked our way into. Let that sink in fully, as it begats my main point.
This world is on the precipice of civil unrest and violence the likes we have never seen or imagined before. If we are lucky to get out of it, we may escape with our lives, but will likely lose our liberties and freedoms in the process. Why is this such a real possibility? Is it because of a tyrant or a maniac? A state with imminent genocidal plans, or deviant economic practices? Is it famine, water scarcity, or some other environmental reason? Possibly it’s the current pandemic, and actions by our leaders trying to prevent loss of life? I say it is none of the above, but rather the way we are using our words – and where - we are using those words to discuss all the above.
We are not on the verge of the worst because times are the worst, but rather because we are using words in places where we win with shock and outrage, where manners don’t get us ahead. Manners are and always have been second nature, but they are no doubt first rate. Before them, words escalated quickly into violence because as we discussed, words can hurt us deeply, both personally and socially. As we sit in our homes or elsewhere - permitted via the advancement of technology - fingerbanging away on keyboards or touchscreens about what another is saying on a television, radiobroadcast, or even the very screen we are typing on, we are divorced from the need for decorum. Couple this with the fact that what we are watching, listening to, or reading, is being created for the purpose of getting us to watch, listen, or read it for another’s monetary gain, we are quickly descending into the hell of regret for the words we are using. This can only stop one of two ways. Either we govern ourselves and our words, or be damned sure someone else will take that privilege from us.
Does this mean the use of good manners will render words cease to cause us harm? No. What it means is that we will put ourselves on the correct track to positive progress for humankind, and that progress is compromise. We are nothing, and will surely be nothing if we cannot learn to compromise with each other. Our greatest achievements have been the result of compromise. Take again my postulate that words are our greatest creation; words make up a language, which is a set of rules that governs their use so we can effectively communicate with each other, but language is living and evolving, what was used 100 or even 1,000 years ago is not used today. Language demonstrates our ability to compromise, and compromise allows our use of a common language. It will still be possible, or be it a guarantee, that we will cause offense with our words, but we cannot be discouraged or judged by the offenses that may ensue if our aim is the use language to get a common goal, the truth. Manners will predicate and placate the use of words to offend, but they will not remedy how words can upset us in our pursuit for good, through spirited, reasoned debate.
So, when one, like I, is sitting in front of their screen (or screens) of choice, I hope they will be persuaded to do the following. First, use omission. I do not have to say what does not need to be said. I do not have to react to what another is saying. Silence is the best tool to get those one doesn’t agree with to stop, just takes a little patience on the side of the silent. Sometimes silence means to drop out. Leave the website, television channel, or broadcast where the injustice is occurring and never go back. The temptation will be strong, but the reward will be sweeter when we deny the inveiglement. Second, if you must stand up, and at times that is quite necessary, do it with grace. Use words that would make your grandmother blush with pride not embarrassment. Beat them with your discernment and tenacity. One may win over a few with words that ridicule, but they would own the hearts of many with words of resolve.
If we can do the above, hopefully we will not have real conflict caused by a war of ill-used words. No greater a fall from grace would be than to fall because of what we have said, when what we have done, could have been solved by not saying it at all.
Written 01.16.21 - Published 02.06.21
